I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
