Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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