Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
