We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
