Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
