he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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