I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
