I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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