My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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