Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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