Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
