hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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