There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
