I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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