wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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