Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
