Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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