names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
