Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
