He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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