apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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