Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
