so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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