I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
