Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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