He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
