Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
