New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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