a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
