Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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