Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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