i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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