here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
