yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
