Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
