Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
