and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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