would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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