I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
