bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
