after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
