Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
