guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
