my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
