Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
