His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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