Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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