how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
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Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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