Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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