i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
