I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
