Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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