you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
