im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
