Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
