So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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