with your own penis?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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