i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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