Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize