What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
