I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
